you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
