I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
