I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
