I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
