I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
