so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
