Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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