What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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