he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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