Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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