I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
