Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
