i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
