I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
