That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
