Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
