I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
