Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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