As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
