Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
