So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
