I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
