in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
