How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
