Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
