After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
