Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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