I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
