did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
