haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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