so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
