My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
And then my night got REAL pukey
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
These tits shall not be calmed
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
