$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
