We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
