Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
