Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
