first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
