one two three fourrrrnication!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
