PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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