That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
