She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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