O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
