i don't like sucking hair
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
this beer tastes like vomit already
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
