just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
