It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
