omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
porn star boner night. come get it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I love you. Go after that dick
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
