He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
