Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
