If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
