singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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