dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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