Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
