I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
