Will you blow on my dice?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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