Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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