you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
