ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize