hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
