I wish I only lived at night.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
