At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
