So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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