This is not my ceiling
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
